I survived training camp y’all! Hiked a mountain, slept in a soggy tent (and was freezing all night cause I realized I packed incredibly poorly), ate some good and some disgusting food, danced in a rainstorm, I did all the things. I got to meet my squadmates and my leadership team and met God in a different context than I was used to.
We asked someone what training camp was like at the beginning of the week, and she said it was like drinking from a firehose. I found out that was the perfect description for it. It was a lot to take in, but it was good and worth it because I came away from it feeling like I had seen a different side of God.
When I say I met God in a new context, it was a weeklong discovery and struggle. On the first night, we were in worship, and I felt something so strange. It was imposter syndrome. I felt like in my normal environment I knew how to hear and worship and follow God, but in this new context, I started questioning if I was doing things because it was just my normal routine, or because it was my authentic expression.
God took me through a process that week of realizing that it’s the same God even in a new context and also that imposter syndrome comes from being too aware and concerned with how others perceive you. The struggle to represent yourself as authentic pulls you out of the moment and from actually being authentic.
It reminds me of a dad on vacation. They seem different in a different environment (maybe in the hobbies they choose to do or the lingo they pick up and almost always in the way they dress) but it’s the same person underneath it all, and you come away from the vacation feeling like you understand who they are a little bit better.
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). If a new context helps me meet Him in a new way, that doesn’t mean it’s someone unfamiliar to me; it means I get to learn a new layer of His personality.
Training camp was also new for me as far as community!! I have never had people challenge me quite the way these girls did. Every day someone would speak something into my life that would stick with me long after they had spoken it. Their words greatly challenged me. I even got to baptize one of my sweet friends!! I love each of these girls so much already and can’t wait for our relationships to grow.
There’s so much more from training camp that I haven’t unpacked, literally and spiritually, but ultimately it made me so excited for all the growth that is going to happen in this next year! Please keep my team in prayer as we enter these last few weeks at home and prepare to be sent out!
Thank you guys, love you always!!!
